Cannes Not

My obsession with the fashion spectacular at the Cannes Film Festival continues this week. I've seen so many stunning gowns on equally lovely women. I've also seen some dresses to scoff at or even scorn and compiled them here for your enjoyment. The designers will remain anonymous for their own protection.

Jodi Foster: Worst accessory
I can admire loyalty as much as the next girl, but Jodi is dangling precariously on the limb furthest from the trunk...over a cliff...above rapids...leading to a waterfall.

Claudia Schiffer:
A dress can be too 'flattering'. With that cut, the lace, and transparent pieces, she has made the long journey from couture to Elvira.

Melanie Laurent
This dress looks like a nightgown Bernice wore when Grandpa was out of town. And it wasn't hemmed properly.

Dasha Zhukova
She did it better; the color is eye catching and she has a waist. Still it comes across dowdy. I want a little skin. A short skirt maybe, or make the top a halter?

Bryce Dallas Howard
Was she in France promoting a movie version of Little House on the Prairie? Nope, doesn't even work then. Lace again, too! It can be done right. Who will join me in a ritual burning of that skirt?

Brook Shields
How does this dress do so many bad things to her figure? Boxy torso, hippy, her boobs even look uneven. Why wasn't this tailored properly? It is too small and pulling through the front and the detail work is not hitting her natural waist.

I challenge you to find better examples of Cannes Not's. Post them in my comments or tweet them to me.